When I was a little girl, one of my favorite playtime activities was playing house.  I was the mommy and on a good day, I could talk my brother into playing the daddy. Most of the time though, I was a “single” mom.  I would make mud pies, rock my babies, feed them, etc.  As girls get older, we dream of weddings and married life.  Perhaps it’s because it was modeled to us by our own mothers or the stories of princesses and happily every after.  The thoughts and expectations of our lives, even though it’s our plan, doesn’t always come to pass.  There are those that for whatever reason, marriage or family never materializes.  It can be a huge disappointment if that how our life was supposed to play out.  

Society projects the need to be coupled up on us. Media, dating sites, and well-meaning friends have ideas of the perfect person that could make life so much better. I wonder how many times people “settle” because of that need to have someone.  Not having the right person can make a long existence.  King Solomon in two separate places had this to say: “Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife.” Proverbs 21:19, and “Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.” Proverbs 25:24. Obviously, King Solomon was a peacemaker.  He sought not to argue or have discord in his household.  I wonder if he had a mancave?

 Why is our society so caught up with being in a couple relationship? Why is being single looked down upon or worse pitied?  There are those people who really, really need to have a significant other in their life. My step father is one of those. He married my mother nine months after his first wife died.  Within three months after my own mother died, he has developed a relationship with someone new and plans to remarry very soon and move away.  Some people are just miserable alone.

 Almost three years ago, I found myself single after my husband died. While it has been a huge adjustment, I’ve learned that navigating as a single person has been a wonderful experience. I enjoy the freedom of a schedule that is my own.  I can suddenly change my agenda and it doesn’t affect anyone else.  I can be spontaneous and jump into a new adventure without any discussion or debate.

 Being single has also allowed me to grow in new ways and experience opportunities that otherwise would not have been possible.  It comes down to being content in life.  When a person’s view is “I have enough”, then enough is a full life.  Lack comes from the thoughts that there is something missing.  If there is nothing missing, then why is there a need to have more? The gifts that come when a person is living in abundance is so satisfying there is no need for anything more. 

 I enjoyed being in a committed relationship, growing a family, and nurturing those around me.  There are wonderful benefits of having someone significant to love and care for, but it’s not for everyone.  There is a sense of match making that goes on between family and friends.  There are those who really enjoy “playing cupid” by trying to get like people together.  If someone is single, perhaps that person is full and satisfied solo. The grass often looks better on the other side of the fence, but I can tell you I know many married couples who are miserable, and I know some single people who are unhappy as well. Happiness is an inside job.  No one person can provide bliss or will bring the contentment or the joy you deserve.  Those thoughts of lack or not enough is where discontentment begins. Change those thoughts and suddenly, there is abundance and joy.  We should not impose our own desires on those around us.  God has a plan for each person.  Each of us have a purpose to make this world a better place in some way, regardless whether married or single. I’ve been able to cultivate new friendships and re-activate friendships with people in my life that I previously thought I didn’t have time for.  I’ve found people who fill in those areas that I thought I would feel “lack” in.  Be okay to be single.  I’ve been both married and single, and I can tell you there is a lot of freedom in singleness!  Embrace where you are and find joy and contentment in the awareness of abundance.

 Health bite:  Embrace singleness with an abundant life.