Untethered
This restless soul of mine keeps me guessing. Over the past three and a half years, I’ve been on this incredible journey of discovery. It began after tragedies that marked deep wounds in my life and family systems. Each of us have tragedies and wounds; I don’t know how any life can be avoid of them. It can be quite difficult and, at times, it seems too much to bear; however, there is sunshine on the other side, but one has to go through it to see it.
In my own personal travels, I’ve embarked on what it means to be present in this life, and in this world. It has forced me to look inward first before viewing the outside. With that I’ve learned to listen to my spirit, and the longings of my soul. It’s such a quiet whisper that it has required me to be still and listen. That intuition or gut feeling is often my spirit trying to speak.
During the past month or so, as I was performing various tasks in life, a random word kept coming to mind. As I was washing dishes, this word would pop into my thoughts. During work or driving somewhere, this word kept coming to me. Finally, after about two weeks, I said to my spirit, “Okay, okay. I’ll see what this is.” I went to the internet and looked up with word Alchemist. After viewing the word, I realized it was a book that my daughter, Joslyn, had read. Because my spirit seemed so adamant about it, I ordered the book. I decided I would read it during my upcoming vacation.
Four years ago, my house was full with caring for children, two ill adults, three dogs, and working a full-time job. It now seems though, that I’m being freed up from all the responsibilities for something else. The children have all moved away, the two ill people have died, along with all three of my dogs. My mother, who lived close to me died last year, and my step-dad has remarried and moved away. I began to wonder, what’s left?
As I spent the time traveling and reading the Alchemist, I more fully understood what was happening. Even though it’s a fictional book, the story had real meaning for me. In my life, I’ve had trouble letting go of control, safety, and security, but that’s what I’m being called to do presently. I have always been taken care of in every way. I’ve never been without basic needs in my life…ever! I’ve been blessed in abundance in numerous ways, yet I’ve never taken a huge leap in faith. The leaps I did take had a safety net just below.
As I continue on this discovery pathway, I’m amazed at the gifts presented with the way of experiences and friendships. Life is abundant and fruitful, if you choose to see it that way. I could easily go to the dark side and wallow in grief and self-pity, but where will that get me? It’s not a place I want to be. I choose to believe that life is full of love and look for opportunities to make this world a better place to live. With that comes risks. That leap of faith I was talking about earlier. I’ve become rather comfortable in the only tether that keeps me in my old life. My intuition has told me it’s time to cut those ties and expand into new opportunities.
As I meditate, pray, and reflect on this risk, I’m reminded of those before me who took tremendous risks to follow their purpose in life: Martin Luther King, Jr., Mother Teresa, Mahatma Gandhi, and many others. These famous people didn’t play it safe. They came to make a difference in this world and succeeded, and that’s what I want to do too. Even if it’s just for one person. Personally, I’ve known very few people who have taken risks and followed their intuition. Then I thought, maybe that’s why there are so many unhappy people in this world. People get stuck and unwilling to listen to their gut and take a chance.
The weeks leading up to breaking my last tether, I was filled with mixed emotions. Society will say I’m not doing the right thing, there are consequences to this action, and there are. My intuition says to trust me, so that’s what I’m doing. Perhaps it’s easier to take the risk since no one is financially relying on me anymore; I really don’t know. When I gave my resignation letter to my place of employment, everyone was shocked. I have worked there over 14 years, and life had become very comfortable. I think that’s why my intuition says it’s time to go. Life goes on, and I’m truly grateful for the experiences I’ve had there. I grew as a person and learned the art of communication. I’m looking forward to being uncomfortable so I can change and grow. Allowing space for something new, I’m excited about the adventure that lies ahead. Today is a new day with unlimited possibilities.
Health bite: Don’t ignore that gut feeling; it won’t lead you astray.
