Better to Receive than Give?

Photo credit: Susan Ryan (because it's not easy to take a photo of your own hands)

Dry bones.  In the desert, there are dry bones.  It’s hot, parched, and feels uncomfortable.  There are times in life when we find ourselves in the desert.  Is it a learning opportunity or a punishment?  I guess it depends on the perspective.  Personally, I've been in the desert for a while, and I'm ready to leave.  I wonder, did I do something wrong?  Did I make a wrong turn?  How much longer must I endure?  Where are you on your journey?  Have you experienced dry bones?  A time of what seems like an uphill battle?  Do you embrace this experience or resist it?  

I’ve been in the desert for months, searching for my purpose, my destiny, looking but not finding. I’ve spent many, many mornings on my knees praying and asking God to show me what He wants from me.  Where am I to be?  What is my purpose?  Am I doing His will?  It’s a time of wondering and searching.  I don’t like it!  I try not to resist, but I find myself feeling frustrated because I want to get on with it….whatever “it” is.  Surely, the Lord could give me just a peak!  Nothing….

Recently, I was introduced to meditation by my dear cousin, Cindy.  She explained that, for her, it allows a presence of self and a place of peace.  It allows her to ask questions and hear answers.  I needed answers, so, I decided to give it a try.   This is a new concept for me as normally when I pray, I do all the talking.  Meditation, is different.  It’s about being present, mindful and quiet.  However, trying to get a Type A mind to quiet is like herding cats!  Floods of thoughts flash through like lightning bolts on a stormy summer day.  It’s taken me lots of practice, and I can tell you I have a long way to go.  

Being present, mindful and quiet has brought a little rain into this desert.  My soul feels nourishment and my mind more peaceful. Through this journey, I've realized that it’s my turn to receive.  Anyone who knows me would say I’m not good a delegating or asking for help.  I’m a go-get-em spirit that takes too much pride in “doing it myself”.   For thirty years, I’ve been a caregiver of some sort, either for a spouse, children, parents, friends, etc.  I would send cards, notes, and make phone calls to people who needed a hand or an encouraging word.  My occupation of a dental hygienist and health coach demonstrate my passion to care for others.  

During this desert experience, I've noticed a block in my mind that caused me to pause in my outreach to others outside my circle.  For a time I withdrew.  My mind and heart has grown in a way that I can now receive and enjoy the gifts that are coming my way, and have a better awareness of other's needs.  This is a time of learning and growing for me.  I now understand the importance of receiving gifts in my life.  The gift of someone calling or a hug from a friend.  Invitations to gatherings of new friends.  Even allowing someone to help me.  Gifts of time and people that come my way.  I've encountered many people who share their experiences with me.  This information has helped shape the journey and the person I'm becoming.  I've become more relaxed and mindful in my surroundings.

In three years, I’ve lost three significant people in my life.  Life has thrown me some hard blows. Most would say I’ve handled it well, but my heart aches, and I’ve kept myself busy to ease the pain.  Meditation has allowed me to process these feelings of loss, solitude, loneliness, and grief.  A good friend suggested I keep a journal of my days and reflect on thoughts and feelings I’m experiencing.  In particular, I plan to do this over the next week.  The question I ask myself is:  "Who am I, and what do I believe?"

Two months ago, I had the realization that next year, I’ll be turning 52.  That was the age my husband was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. The thought for me was, “What are you waiting for?  When are you going to start living your dreams and exploring what life has for you?”  That was it!  I needed to take action and start living the next adventure.  So today, I’ll be leaving my home to fly to Europe for the first time.  I’ve had the desire to travel since I was a teenager, but I got married early in life.  A mortgage and three children later didn’t allow funds for traveling.  Now it’s different.  This isn’t what I imagined my life being, but it is my present circumstances. This is a gift.  A journey of discovery.  I plan to find some of those answers and be present in this desert.  I won't resist and want to be present for the lessons to be learned.  

There are times when my hands are giving, and now I’m finding that these same hands are capable of receiving.  A wise person recently told me to make sure the oxygen mask is on yourself before you try to help someone else.  One day these dry bones will be made whole again!

Health Bite:  The only way you can give is if you are full yourself.

Giving Outside Of The Box

What a joyous time of year! So many things to do: shopping, addressing cards, choosing gifts, baking, visiting, and the list goes on. This time of year gives many people pleasure and excitement, yet for some, a sense of dread and loneliness. In this modern era, the joy of Christ is pushed to the side for the materialism that Christmas has become. Consumers are bombarded with the start of the season along side back to school shopping. We have been conditioned to “think of everyone” by purchasing them a gift. How can we think of everyone and be financially sound at the end of the month? Have you ever received a gift that was later re-gifted? Chances are each of us has re-gifted an item at one time or another. Why do we drive ourselves crazy buying up anything and everything? It’s because we want others to know how much we care for them. Likely, the people in our lives already know how much we care for them. Now that the list is made, it’s time to get going. Wading through the crowded stores to find just the right gift can be both confusing and frustrating. Shopping on-line can be helpful, but all too often retailers entice us to purchase more to avoid shipping costs. Retailers reward the gift givers by giving away an additional gift card for the purchaser. Now both the giver and receiver get gifts. What’s a savvy shopper to do?

For many, Christmas has become a financial burden and a rat race that leaves a feeling of exhaustion. The day is supposed to be marked as a celebration of the birth of our King of Kings and Lord of Lords. How can we re-focus our attention to what Christmas is meant to represent? To live differently, one has to think differently. That’s easier said than done. Instead of full filling the “wish list” for the family, perhaps consider full filling a need list for someone you may never meet.

• Give with purpose to a charity that helps others in the honor of someone

• Adopt a needy family

• Prepare freezer meals for an elderly or shut-in

• Purchase gifts from a fair trade organization

• Give a gift of time like baby sitting or dinner out

• Host a pot luck to bring others together

• Volunteer to ring the Salvation Army bell as a family

Last year, our family began to streamline our gift giving. We have parents that really don’t need anything and usually purchase what they want. Our siblings usually exchange gift cards to restaurants, which is the same each year. We tried exchanging names in the past, but some of the family didn’t want to participate because it was too draining financially. Instead of purchasing gifts for the adults in our family, we decided donate to charities in their honor. My office typically adopts a family for Christmas instead of exchanging gifts for each other. There are many ways to celebrate Christmas and many ways to glorify the birth of Christ. What Christmas memories and traditions will you leave?

health-bite:  give a gift that will last---yourself