MYSTERY

Some mysterious and almost magical event happens between the ages of 46 and 54, at least in women. Those ages, of course, can vary, but it’s a real thing.  It began for me at age 48, when I got this longing for something more in life.  It was a longing or a desire to reach for something new or better or maybe just different.

MARRIAGE AND KIDS 

I got married at age 20 and started a family.  Three daughters later, I found myself in a busy house coordinating schedules and playing the part of a maid, cook, and lover.  Those years were full of promise for my children’s future and a wonder of what life would be like with an empty nest.  Unfortunately, the empty nest didn’t happen before my spouse died of cancer.  It was a heart wrenching time that left me dazed and confused in an already feeling of influx.

TIME TO RECOVER

The time immediately after his death was numbing.  There are events and conversations I simply don’t remember.  Our body has a way of protecting our self even when we are unable to do so.  Family and friends surrounded me with love and understanding as best they could, but this was a journey I had to live out on my own.  Grief and change is a process and shouldn’t be either sped up or ignored.  During the first year after his death, I was feeling particularly blue during a month, but didn’t understand why until it dawned on me that this was the month my husband really started his decline.  Even though it wasn’t on my mind, my body remembered that event.  Even now, that month is more difficult for me to get through. 

GROWTH

I hear most people don’t like change.  I’ve always known I was different from most people, but I really enjoy change.  It’s an opportunity to grow and branch out into some new experience.  So here I was a widow, my children grown and moved away, both parents deceased, even my dogs died all within three years.  Then I surprised everyone by quitting a job I’ve had for over 14 years.  Wow!  Okay, now what?

SURPRISE

The thing I found was myself.  I began to understand who I was and what I was about.  I learned what I believed, not what others said I should believe.  I’ve become this strong woman with a solid self-esteem, who is now able to have difficult conversations rather than keeping quiet and allowing people to dictate their demands and run over me.

If you are someone who has a stirring that there is more, I can help you with the navigation.  I’ve been through a lot of change in if a brief period of time.  Call me and let’s chat.