Excuse Me
The wonder and beauty of individuals are our differences. Often, we are attracted to people that help strengthen our weaknesses. For as much of the sameness we share with one another, we are all really quite different in a variety of ways. Those differences can make relationships both interesting and frustrating. Life would be so boring if we were all the same, yet, many of us seem to dislike being around people who are not. Society has come a long way, especially in the last two decades. We, as people, are more accepting of individuality regardless if it aligns with our own; yet, depression, anxiety, and suicide prevalence is still too high. I think it’s mostly due to feeling different, unloved, and unaccepted.
I’ve been in enough social circles in life to witness the subtle ways people work to try and upset others by pushing buttons that are sensitive. Religion and politics are two things that are discouraged from discussing, yet those two subjects make it to the surface on a regular basis. I wonder if they are supposed to be off limits because of the deep emotions that play into them? Personally, I enjoy listening to people’s ideas and ways of thinking about these subjects. Of course, I have my own opinion; and I’ll chime in when I have something to say, but first of all, I choose to love the people in the room unconditionally. It sets a new perspective in the light of love. With love in the center, all conversations begin and end in that emotion.
I’ve learned to ask gathering questions to help me understand the framework in which a person is coming from. Don’t we all have reasons for our opinions? Understanding a new perspective sheds some light on why a person feels so passionately about a particular topic. Usually there is a deep wound or experience that creates an opinion or value. Empathy and compassion allows perspective. While it may not be something I agree with, that doesn’t mean there should be an offense.
I am the only one who gets to choose whether I’m offended by a topic or remark or not. No one else gets a say so. Think about this: If someone says something to you that is offensive, you can choose to ingest it or throw it out. When we take offense to things that feel hurtful, those emotions become a part of who we are. That can manifest into a hurt that can become an negative emotion and eventually a disease. We not only digest food, we digest emotions as well. Rather than choosing to be offended by a remark or a gesture, I can ask myself if the remark or gesture is true or worth considering. If it is, then I should think about it and make necessary adjustments. However, if it is untrue, then I should dismiss it into the universe as noise. Each of us as a choice in how to process information. It can be ingested and become a part of who we are (good or bad) or it can be dismissed as untrue, unwarranted and, therefore, noise.
Rather than choosing to be offended by a remark, chose a different outcome by agreeing to disagree. I have friends who think differently on a variety of topics, yet we can have fun together and honor each other’s differences. Life is too short to walk around being offended. I challenge each one to show up with unconditional love; especially, when there are differences. That doesn’t mean you have to be their best friend or even choose to spend a lot of time with that person. What it does mean is choosing to love that person for their differences. That’s the difference!
Health Bite: Choose unconditional love
