We just celebrated St. Valentine’s Day this week.  This day can bring about many emotions for those in relationships and those who are not.  It can be a time to reflect on the importance of that certain person in life, or the awareness of the lack of someone.  I laugh, often, on this day because, my daughter’s, years ago named it….Singles Awareness Day.   I think this is hilarious and it certainly lifts the sigma that by not having someone “special” we are somehow incomplete.   Our society tries to match people into relationships.  What was once a few online dating sites, now are apps, groups, and sites that strategically align certain criteria to form a union of interests.   But what is wrong with being single?   What if that special person never materializes?   Should one “settle” for someone less compatible?  I think each of us is capable of compatibility with someone, and it’s a matter of having a connection, core values, and interests.   There is nothing dreadful, though, about being single.  

Whether you are single, married, or in a relationship, at heart of the matter, really is love for others.  But what is love, really?   It’s used so flippantly in conversations that often, I think it’s like saying “hello.”   It’s a casual word at the end of a phone call or text.   It gets used so much, that it loses its spark.  Initially, our mind floods with thoughts and emotions of a new interest...I’m so in love…  It can last for days, weeks, or months.   Our heart races at the anticipation of being together with our new interest and the imagination can run wild.  We experience a bliss, or what I call blindness, of what we are really seeing and experiencing.  Often, we overlook habits or behaviors that don’t line up with our values.  Once the mountain top experience is over, we can begin to experience and see who the person really is.  A good parameter is to ask your friends what they think.  Their view is a wide-angle vision, and I’ve found that this perspective is healthy in the long term.   When we are so close our person, it’s difficult to see the real picture.  Initially, we are full speed ahead in a new relationship, but I want to caution you to purposefully slow down and take your time.  Our media displays romance with happy endings, but that’s not always the case.  Good relationships in life take time, energy and work.  Some are easy while others are more challenging.

 How does one love the other?  Let’s first talk about love.  There are differences in love.  There is the love we have for our children.  Love we express for our parents/siblings.  There is love we have for friends.  Then there’s that special love we have for a partner.  Each of these relationships are important and at the core is the same.  All the accumulations of material wealth will die, but our relationships will continue even after death.  The impact we have on others is eternal.  Each of us was created by a God from love.  It’s the core of who we are.  Throughout the Bible, there is story after story of love.  Jesus was sent here to demonstrate love.  His life was sacrificed because of love. 

New King James Version -I Corinthians 13:1-13

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love I am only a resounding gong or clanging cymbal resounding in the wind. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and can understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have faith, that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. And though I give all I possess to the poor, and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love has no fear; it does not worry; love keeps no records of wrongs; never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part. But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away.

When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now, we see in a mirror, darkly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known.

And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

Agape love is what each of us should practice daily.  Here is a short video that explains this type of love:

Self-sacrifice is the core of love.  It’s not divisions by right or wrong.  It’s not prejudices by color, race, religion, or sex.  It’s not narcissism of what’s most important for my gain.  It’s not what’s in it for me?  Self-serving relationships end in disaster.  True love has no strings attached.  It’s giving without expecting anything in return.  The beauty of this concept is what comes back is abundance and the awareness that there is something greater in life.  It’s a feeling of wonder and joy that is indescribable.  While each of us have special gifts, talents and purpose, each of us also have the gift of love.  We are meant to love and be loved.  Make a point each day to make someone else’s day a little brighter by showing and expressing agape love.

Health bite:  The more love you give way, the richer your life becomes.